Pay people off with cash or goods. All of a sudden, some men and their families turn into Santa Claus. This once-stingy, once-grumpy human being mystically transforms into a perpetually smiling, hugging, hand-shaking, money-giving clone. Don’t be fooled though. Normally, once they win, they’ll revert to their true form.

Are you good-looking? Do you have jaw lines for days? Do you think you can make people swoon with just a stare? Then congratulations, you can now be an actor or a model. What? You thought you were fit for politics? Sorry to say but politics isn’t a beauty contest, it is an important societal construct for the people and not for your ego. 

You might see hot hunks like this one knocking on your gate, shaking your hand, winking at you. Don’t be blinded by looks, scrutinize their platform and look at what they have to offer the community (other than those biceps).

Some candidates tend to dress to impress for the audience—or lack thereof—just to win them over. If you really want to vote for the hottest candidate then you need to re-evaluate your life goals.

Siya ang “anak sa apo sa silingan ni _______”

Do you hear candidates proudly say their last name? Does it remind you of anyone prominent? Does it make you consider the candidate just because someone with the same last name did something? Don’t be fooled again. Many people have the same last names and the only thing they have in common are their number of chromosomes. Even if they are related or not, this shouldn’t be a basis for your vote. The apple may not fall too far from the tree but it is still just a simple apple which may feed the needy, whose seeds may grow to be trees; but it can also just be just a fruit rotting on the ground, a fruit riddled with worms.

Vote for the name the candidate made for himself and not for the name he was given.

Have you seen Avengers: Infinity War? If you nod to this then good for you because you’re not living under a rock. Now, when candidates make posters of the Avengers and place their faces on your heroes, does it make you want to vote for them? Heck no. “Sacrilege!” you say. But, if you are nodding to this question then our country is doomed and it is all because of you. Yes, single-handedly your fault.

Do not play stupid in this election. Just because they place pop culture references or try to fit in with the fad on their ads, it does not mean they are your idols or represent your idols. I’m pretty sure your candidate can’t shoot laser beams out of their hands (or can they?) They are creative (and cliché), I give them that.

Black propaganda. Tsk. Tsk.

Do not support and cheer on when a candidate says something witty against another candidate. It only means the candidate is weak, childish and threatened. If a candidate delivers a low blow to attack the other candidate’s personal life (not professional life), it means he already lost, even if you do vote for him. The candidate’s sad ploy will only get him so far and if he wins, it will say the same fate to your community.

Vote for those who don’t bring others down just so the candidate can rise, but vote those who rise by raising the people up. After all, a good leader is a good follower.

“If irritating jingle sticks, it's done its job” – Sfgate.com

Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura?—Oh, sorry. I was just singing this Manny Villar’s jingle. Oh, you think I voted for him just because his campaign group made that jingle? NO.

Candidates make jingles to catch the attention of the people and it helps people remember the candidate’s name – mainly because of the catchy, annoying tune, and the lyrics on loop. Consider the candidate’s efforts but don’t vote for him mainly because you can’t keep his jingle out of your mind while lining up to vote.

Nag-Pasko ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada?

Vaguely (yes that is usually intentional) suggest that he has been endorsed by some popular local or national official. If not by politicians, some of them approach actors (reeks of desperation) to endorse them. Really, come on.

Some also use a common trick of associating themselves with a particular marginalized group to appear relatable. For example “I was raised poor, just like you. I know how you feel”, “I’m also a member of the LGBT community” – ok, I doubt they will actually come out during election time, so it’s most likely “I have MANY friends who are members of the LGBT community”, “My mother was a single mother, so I understand your predicament” and so on. Too many narratives, too little space.